Saturday, July 14, 2007

Feelings of Unworthiness....

On my way home from Rebekkah's basketball practice last night, the radio was on 99.9...Delilah (no clue how to spell that) and she was talking to a lady that had 10 kids. 10 KIDS!!! 6 of her own and like 4 adopted or something like that. Anyway, "Delilah" asked her if she ever felt totally overwhelmed and just couldn't do it anymore...(be a mom w/10 kids)...the woman's answer SHOCKED me. I assumed she would say, oh yeah, sometimes. But NO, she said NEVER!!! NEVER??!!! Crap, double crap for me. I was amazed...I only have 3 kids, and I have those feelings QUITE OFTEN...and yesterday was freakin' one of those days! Thinking that there is NO possible way that I can do what I do ANYMORE! The lady added after that, that she felt like this was her "calling in life". Wow, I don't think I have ever felt like that. Sure, some may say, your a GREAT mother! But yikes, they only see a small portion of what truly goes on. My patience gets lost WAY TOO quickly most days....and sometimes I just feel like a truly HORRIBLE MOTHER! UGH! I really do feel unworthy to be a mother sometimes...





It's easy for me to point out my "faults" or things I feel like I need to work on...so let's see how I do with pointing out the "good" about me instead of the "bad" like I usually do. And maybe I can feel some sort of elation with myself today....




  • I take care of myself...it may not be until the end of the day, but at some point during the day I do take a shower...


  • I work out every day


  • I do my best at healthy eating...(i'll just leave it at that, because then i'll start pointing out more "bad")


  • I hug and kiss my kids every day


  • I tell my kids I love them every day


  • I make dinner for my family and they all actually have their "favorite" meals of mine!


  • I read books to my kids (although it's not as often now that Rebekkah reads a lot on her own)


  • I work another job from home along with being a mom


  • I let my girls play in the dirt out back (yes our backyard is STILL dirt :( someday it will be grass!) and track it through the house...because playing in the dirt and being DIRTY makes them HAPPY


  • I smile and laugh with my family (ha! except for in the mornings usually, but we won't go there)


  • I call my mom almost EVERY day of the week


  • I put makeup on and look "put together" on the weekends


  • I let my kids watch ONE movie every day (no TV in our house usually)

  • I play the girls games and make funny faces!

Ahhhh...I think it's gonna be a GREAT day!



10 comments:

The Rogers said...

so glad to see you focus on the good that you do. i really think that it makes all the difference. I'm sure you are a great mother, even when noone is around.

Jenny said...

Okay...so I know that lady on Delilah was lying. She sounds like one of those people that try to sound perfect for the sake of their own guilt. She has GOT TO feel overwhelmed sometimes. Or maybe not..thanks to her Prozac. Gimme some of that! I feel like a crappy mom a lot and have to force myself to look at my positives. I think we are all on the same boat. (that lady is in a dingy)

Miss Niss said...

I'm in agreement Jenny Lee!!

Mary Postert said...

So what job do you do at home besides being a mom?

Miss Niss said...

I do data entry..coding work for lawyers! I've done it since my oldest daughter was like 6 mths old...it's not a constant, every day I have work job...but it's nice to have a little extra money here and there!!

Brooke said...

hey i totally have the same feelings as you. some days i feel like a total failure....but i know that i'm not and i think it's great to remember all the positive points. we need to focus on those positive moments more often!

TJ and LaChae Booth said...

I have to say that I just love your blog! I really try and make our life small and simple-but by that I mean just focus on what matters. Sometimes we do good, sometimes not! But, I loved your post. I feel that way too sometimes, and I only have 1! But if there is one thing I know, it is that our kids love us so much and we are the only ones who could be their mommies! :) LaCHae

sara said...

Dumbfounded is how I felt!! :) I think those ladies could possibly exist, but I have NEVER met a mother who didn't feel overwhelmed at times! Hellewww!!

Heather said...

Anissa,
I am so glad I found your blog! You are an amazing mom and don't tell yourself otherwise. Everyone gets frazzled, it is natural and I don't have 3 kids to take care of yet, just a husband! You are AWESOME!

Miranda said...

Of course I agree with jenny. Of course. I am fed up with those Prozac-fueled supermoms. (not that there's anything wrong with prozac, but COME ON). Let's be real. And honest. This shit is HARD. All we can do is try our best. It will be good enough. It will.