It's Okay..no, it's Wonderful

• that my pants are fitting a little too tight around the midular area
• that my tummy is hungry EVERY 2 hours
• that my hip bones are starting to fade away
• that my boobs are getting BIGGER!! Wahoo!!!
• that i take a nap every afternoon and am still dead tired by 9pm at night
• that i stay in my pj's every day until night time
• that my hubby adores me and my changing body
• that my daughters pray for me every night that i'll "feel better" and that the baby will come out of mommy's tummy soon (yes we've explained that March is very far away!)

It all started....

With a monsoon storm blowing in. Unfortunately, we didn't get much of the rain...but FORTUNATELY we got the 20 degree drop in temperature!!!! Rebekkah's school is 5 miles away from where we live and when she got home from school yesterday, she was SOAKED!!! It turned out to be such a beautiful night...we stayed outside for a couple of hours after dinner and just played around. I love when we have great weather like this, in the middle of it being SO HOT!!!!

Walker got on the bike first, then everyone else had to follow!!!!
Who's that stud??? Yum!!!!

Bekkah, Bekkah, Bekkah, when will you ever give me a "normal" smile!!! haha...it's ok, I love it when she does this, just her personality shining through!!!!
Walker-man on his skateboard, well, actually Abby's skateboard...but he's in that "everything is MINE" stage!
When I asked him to smile for me, this is what I got!!! hahahahaha...taking after his older sister maybe!!!
If that doesn't look like a CHAPMAN!!! Holy cow!!!!
Since the beautiful night, when into a beautiful morning for us....I got my butt off the couch, stuck a prego pop/candy thingy in my mouth, and Walker and I headed off for a bike ride!! I enjoyed it so much. The weather was just gorgeous...and the clouds! I couldn't pass up an opportunity like this!! Outside we were gonna be!!!! Only thing missing was my two bike riding buddies :( But they were at school of course....

I went to pick up Abby from school today...and at 11:00 it was still only 84 degrees outside!!! I rolled down all the windows, opened up the sun roof and just took it all in!!! I WISH I would have had my camera when I was driving there....the clouds coming across the mountains was absolutely gorgeous!! As I was driving to the school...lost in thought....I looked around at all the cars around me, the ones I was passing and the ones coming from the other direction. Out of all the cars I saw, only ONE had their windows rolled down!! I couldn't believe it! Those people, with their windows up, all stuffy, had no idea what they were missing!!!

Things I've Been Thinking About....

As I have sat, laid, slept on the couch day after day after day....I have had many thoughts that run through my head. Random thoughts that come up, and just things that I think about.....

• i want to go on a trip...when i think about going somewhere, on a trip, its never to disneyland or anything like that...it's somewhere i can be outdoors...somewhere that I can listen to the wind in the trees and the water running right beside me. somewhere the kids can run and play....get dirty...and enjoy the calmness around them.
• i had the pleasure of getting a massage from a cousin of nathan's a few weeks ago....when he started, he started with visualization....he wanted me to get into a very relaxed state (i have struggled with that lately)...he told me to think in my mind of somewhere i wanted to be, somewhere that was calm...i envisioned myself at the bottom of the grand canyon, laying next to the colorado river...i could hear the river running, i could hear the birds and see them, i could see the beautiful colors of the rocks....i think of this place often
• i think about giving birth one more time and am excited about the prospect of doing it naturally again. however, this time it will be at home with a midwife. i think about how calming that will be, to be in my own element, to have a midwife who is really there for ME..i think about the conversations i might have with my midwife and the opportunity we will have of getting to know each other during this new pregnancy
• i think about my sweet family....how much they have done for me this last month as i've had to take a step back from doing all of my "normal" things...i think about how grown up rebekkah is becoming as she has had to take on more responsibilities lately...i think about how i sometimes miss sweet moments with them because we are in a rush to get to school...i think about this morning, and how i took the time to give both rebekkah and abby EXTRA hugs and kisses when i dropped them off...and the lump in my throat that i got as i walked back to my car
• i think about my dear husband...as i have struggled this last month, so has he....i think about how many times i don't show him how much i love him...i think about how selfless he is and about how selfish i am at times...i think about how tired he is when he gets home and yet still helps with dinner....i think about last night as i laid on the couch and watched him wrestle and play with the kids...i can still hear the laughter and see the joy on their faces

The Pregnancy

I guess I should "elaborate" a little bit more on my previous post. I have very many emotions going through me right now about the whole thing so just bare with me....I am 9 weeks along and due sometime the beginning of March. About 6 months ago, I knew there was another little baby up there waiting for us, but I was in complete denial. I kept having these thoughts about having another one and just kept them to myself. My cute hubby had been talking about another one right after Walker was born and I just kept telling him NO WAY...even my daughters talked about having another one. I had no desire to have another baby, no desire to be pregnant once again. Yet the thoughts kept coming to me, and I still kept them inside...KNOWING that if I brought it up to my husband... he, of course, would be all for it. I was scared (still am), I was nervous, I was stressed, I was even SELFISH. Selfish? Yes selfish. Why? you might wonder? I didn't want to go through the whole gaining weight pregnancy stuff. I didn't want my body to change AGAIN, especially after I had worked SO HARD to be where I was. I didn't want to change that. Anyway, I obviously at some point talked to Nathan about it, because it was driving me crazy....and just like I knew he would be, he was "up for the challenge" ha!

So, here we are. Pregnant again and I feel kind of numb to the whole idea. I AM excited, don't get me wrong...but it has taken me some time to actually get to that point. I am a worry-er, as much as I TRY not to be, I still do. It will be fun to see what this one is, although when I first got the impressions that there was another baby, I had the feelings that it would be a boy, so we shall see. It would be GREAT to have a little brother for Walker-man. But we will see!!!!

It has been a really rough beginning pregnancy for me. Every day I spend on the couch pretty much. I am nautious (i DON'T know how to spell that word) from the time I wake up, until I go to bed at night, AND even during the night time when I'm trying to go to sleep. It is very hard for me, to go from running 5-6 miles a day and strength training to ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. My kids are lucky I can get them off to school in the mornings. I have felt every emotion possible in the last few weeks....being overwhelmed, sad, depressed....it is not easy for me to be laid up on the couch, day after day after day. My house never gets cleaned and my poor husband has been "Mr. Mom" around here. I know that at some point, the sickness will pass, but for now it's just really taking a toll on me and my mental view of things. Hopefully, I can start feeling better....sometime in the near future! :)

Catch Up...Again....

Crazy couple of weeks that we've had around here....many have asked about the status of us losing our house. As of right now, it's all still up in the air. We will probably know if we are staying or going in the next few months. It really depends on the finance company at this point...we are at peace with whatever might happen with us. As of right now, we are just continuing LIVING and enjoying each other.
Walker...just a cute picture!!!!
Last week the girls started school (ugh...no more sleeping in for me!) Abby started kindergarten this year! She was really excited and she has a really nice teacher.
Rebekkah's in the THIRD GRADE!!!! Holy cow!!!!
I can't believe how close they are in size, for being 2 years apart!!! I think Abby is on her way to pass up her sister!!!! (yeah, my kids are in DIRE NEED of hair cuts)
Walker, doing some roller skating w/his sister! ha!!!!

Rebekkah also got baptized!!! It was a really great day and she looked so cute in her dress! She had ALOT of family and friends there to support her.
Rebekkah with Grandma 'Lainey and Grandpa Jan
Our sweet little family...(which if you hadn't heard...is GROWING!!!! Yes, we are expecting once again!!!! I NEVER imagined I would be the mom of 4 kids!!!! Yikes!!!!)
Bekkah and her Daddy!!!!!
We are very proud of her!!! And LoVe her so much...it was a very special day for us!!!!