It's late...yes, after 10pm is late for me!!! I was laying in bed, and there was just too many thoughts going through my head...I needed to jot some down. So, just as a forewarning, this post may not be the most exciting, but it's just thoughts and feelings that I'm having right now, and this is my blog dangit! So I can write about whatever the hell I want!!! :)
Anyway...today wasn't that great of a day...well, shoot, let's just say it was a BAD day in my book. Believe me, just ask my poor kids and hubby. It's always a particular bad day, when you've made your sweet 8 year old daughter cry...what kind of mother does that??? Holy sheesh...somebody needs to take over in this household!!! Either that, or this mom needs to get her big prego butt in gear and get over a few things. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, or maybe it's just the CHATWIN temper that I'm dealing with...who knows...but I don't feel like I can blame it on anything...because in all actuality, it's my choice. So I vow to give my cute kids extra hugs and kisses tomorrow morning before they head off to school, and I will ask them to forgive me...and tomorrow will be a better day...a fun day...and they will KNOW how much their mommy loves them....
My wonderful parents are coming to our house for a big halloween par-tay tomorrow. Okay, maybe not a big party....but they are coming and having a sleepover!!! I'm making homemade wheat pizza...we'll hang out in our little cul-de-sac and hand out candy...the "men folk" can take the kids around the neighborhood to load up on all the sugar they can get their hands on!! Cutie Nathan will be setting up the tent in the backyard for a campout!!! (mom, walker and I will most likely be sleeping INSIDE...I have a hard enough time getting sleep in my own bed!) Saturday morning, dear ol' grandpa will be taking the girls for a hike (Nathan will be joining, if he's not working) and grandma will be teaching ME how to make my own tortilla's! (very excited for this!) It's also time for me to make some more bread! Wahoo!!!
Why is it that babies, well atleast all of mine...like to move around the most when it's night time...time for us to be sleeping???!!!! It really cracks me up actually...because every single one of mine has been that way! It amazes me, how even after having 3 kids in this tummy of mine already, that I am still in awe at the feelings of having a little person inside of me. When she moves it makes me feel good inside....and it's like it was my first time being pregnant! I guess it's a miracle regardless of how many times you've had children. Although it's been an adjustment for me, to call this babe a SHE instead of a HE....and I've had to think through a lot of things since finding out...I love her. Why wouldn't I? She is a part of me, she is a part of Nathan...she is a part of our family...and she chose ME as her mom. Regardless of how horrible of a mother I think I am at times...she still chose me...and that really fills my heart with inexplicable joy. I can't wait to see her....and I know my children feel the same way. My sweet girls STILL pray every night that mommy will "feel better". I guess they figure that since I'm still pregnant, I won't "feel better" until after she is actually here! But it makes me smile, every time I hear them say that....it makes me feel special, because they remember me in their prayers. I think we have settled on a name for this cute girl...but I'm not certain, so I won't spill the beans to everyone yet!
12 comments:
um..you said "hell". I've made my kids cry tons of times over the past almost 12 years! I've said "I'm sorry" about a million times too. At least you don't beat em. That's always my rationalizaion. I wanna learn how to make tortillas!!! I'm loving cooking lately. (isn't that odd?) I'm jealous of your Elaine-time. I hope you guys can make it here in a few weeks. We'd love it so much! If not..I'm sure we'll see you soon. Love you!
I've decided that pregnancy brings out the worst in me. I have often said to my husband, "Sorry, that's the babies talking..." and feel horrible. But, I do think that I might be nicer in a few months, and hopefully in my life I'll be not-pregnant more than pregnant, so overall, I'll be more nice than not-nice. Anyhow, I'm thinking of you!
you're human... and above all A MOMMY! i know we can choose to be happy or sad, but why can't we just be MAD cz we want to be mad??? (or upset, or angry, or short tempered).
we all LOVE our kids & they love us. they get mad at us too you know? and say they hate us or go away!
they'll forget next week (they're great like that) so enjoy the extra hugs & kisses.. :)
sweet post. I have those days too.
YOU'RE HAVING A GIRL!!! How fun!! Congrats, congrats!!
Sounds like so much fun w/ your parents -especially cooking w/ your mom! That's fun.
Um, you are still sooooo tiny - don't fret!!! You only think it's your butt, you ain't got nothing on me girl! :)
Hey, First you go girl it is your blog write what you want.
On the mommy note. You are not the only mother out there that has done that, if any mother says they have not THEY ARE LYING!
I am glad your parents are able to come and hang out with you! Happy Halloween.
great post. it just confirms how we are human and not perfect...and that motherhood is DANG hard! You're great. Hang in there. Oh, so I found a great running belt. It is made by Gabrialla. It has a lot of support and has worked great. I did 7 miles the other day. I find that some days I feel better than others.. good luck!
i love that your girls pray for you to feel better. i was totally there with you.....about 6 months ago. i'm not a very fun pregnant mom myself. thank goodness it's only a short time in our lives....even though it feels like forever sometimes!
I completely understand! You shoud see me when I'm completely stressed out with a deadline! My poor family. That's why I NEED my quality time with each of them, to make ME feel better about being a mother. Thank goodness kids are so forgiving or I would literally CRACK!
Miss Niss, I think that you are a wonderful wife and mother. You are an example to me. :)
If making our kids cry is the criteria for being a bad mom -oh, I am in so much trouble. I really think that you telling them you are sorry is so much more of a lesson. It teaches them that we all make mistakes and that we can all apologize. You are a wonderful mother. Just say it often enough and you will know that it is true!!!!
Exciting or not this post rocked! Why? Because its real. I love it! Thanks for letting me stalk your blog! You're kiddos love you...even your hubby!
P.S. Send me your e-mail kelli(dot)hatch(at)gmail(dot)com and I will send you an invitation. I have it public right now trying to generate sales for Matilyn's fundraiser but will be going back private! I'd love to have you be a part of my crazy world!
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